Taking risks

I have to confess. I am not a risk taker. In fact I'm the most coward of all cowards I've known in the world. My world, to be safe. I procrastinate all the time.

When I worked for the government in 1989 or so, I was a casual employee for years. I was a college dropout and my immediate supervisors maybe could not find me a position my course being AB Philosophy. Later when HR finally got the Computer Programmer position, I didn't tell them I don't have a bachelor's degree. It was not a calculated risk. It was lying.

After 10 years of being a regular employee I resigned to save myself from the consequences of my lie.

I was jobless and was not planning to get my savings from GSIS, Pagibig, etc. So much paper work. Someday, I said. So I was basically broke when I came to Cebu.

Cebu has lots to offer being an urban center, has more opportunities than Bohol. So I settled here. It was a risk but I didn't know that. I was relying on dole-outs from friends and acquaintances. Cebu has taught me how to live on the edge of a sword.

Almost always I didn't have a decent meal for days or weeks. I nibbled bites on bread to sustain myself and followed it with lots of water because it was the only thing free. I holed myself up in my room so I would not spend a peso, which was nonexistent, by the way.

In one of the saddest and lowest times of my life, I almost took it so I could rest from the internal pain. Both my arms were already bleeding when my housemates intervened, saving me from further destruction.

I haven't seen the beauty of life.

But then friends helped me out, literally dragging me out of my drab environment.

I changed apartments. I used my network to look for a job. I hooked up with friends. Started blogging. Travelled.

Yes, I still owe money from friends who helped me setup OrangeSun. I will pay them of course. Yes, I still don't eat regular meals. I'm getting used to it. My life is basically different now.  But one thing is sure- life is good to me.

I am now involved in a relationship that I would fight to keep it forever. I am in love!

As what Frances Leflowitz wrote- Believe you have a say in your destiny rather than being dominated by your circumstances. In that way, every chance we take teaches us something about ourselves.

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from Worth the Risk, Why taking a chance may be more important than you think by Frances Lefkowitz

follow your desire, not your fear To take a risk is to accept a challenge, not to act foolishly or carelessly. Find things that make you feel slightly uncomfortable but still intrigue and excite you. Pick one to pursue. Don't throw yourself into it all at once; start with the bunny slopes- sing for your friends, say, rather than audition for a band. Take it step by step, backing down a level if you feel panicked rather than excited.

enjoy the ride One of the benefits of risk-taking is simply that it's fun. Discover new opportunities to awaken your senses and enjoy something for its own pleasurable sake.

• Try a new sport or activity that appeals to you, like in-line skating, windsurfing, or scaling a climbing wall at the gym.
  
• Go skinny-dipping.
  
• Break out your wardrobe rut, and wear something out of character.
  
• Chat up an attractive stranger.
  
• Forgo your usual lunch and order something you've never tasted before.
  
• Give your hairstylist free rein with the scissors, and totally change your look.
  
• Treat yourself to a solo dinner in a nice restaurant.