Return to Innocence

I am sick. And I hate it. I wonder why I suddenly have fever and was actually shivering from the cold I felt. My joints are painful, my back like some truck rammed on it. While lying down on my bed, moving from left to right is rather painful. Even getting sheets to warm me up is an agony.

And then the bad dreams.

This time I dreamed about my past and Grandma again. The second time, actually. We were riding on this jeepney together with almost all townmates were in there as passengers. There was Melvin, my classmate in the elementary and a good neighbor. He was acting he did'nt know me. There was Dencio, my barber since I was young. There was Mam Uping. And several others busy in their own little worlds. Except for Melvin who migrated to Singapore a long time ago, everyone is dead.

Suddenly the scene came to a home which was not really our home as I remembered it was. Coming out from the CR, my Grandma confronted me why I was suddenly home and rarely goes home. I was not able to answer. I didn't have answers. Then, I was pulled in a vortex of white stairs. Not falling. Running but not running. I don't know. I saw my feet acting like they were running but I felt I was pulled. And down there, I can see the choir of children singing something I could not decipher. Everything is in white.

I woke up in sweat. And the headache throbbed like I my head is going to burst.

I hate this.