Selamat Hari Raya / Selamat Idul-Fitri / Eid al-Fitr to everyone

I hope your celebration of the end of Ramadan be full of God's blessings and cheers to begin a new life, so to speak. Peace to everyone. May God's blessings be upon us all.

My Ramadan ends with a simple feast with friends since my family is a hundred miles away. It was indeed beautiful. Thank you guys.

A reminder to myself: A Time for Healing

Closing the day

So many people might find me weird if not deranged when I will share my spiritual journey especially to a non-Muslim like me who is doing the Ramadan. I rarely discuss spiritual and religious things even to my family. I am not a religious person. I rarely go to church. I only attend church ceremonies when I am invited for an occasion.

My decision to join our brothers and sisters in the Muslim community was inspired by friendship with Muslims who enlightened me about Ramadan. This is my second year.

I am quite emotional today because Ramadan started very uneasy for me. There were friends who became my enemies and I could not talk them out to settle things. I have unresolved issues within.

But there was one inspiring thing that happened to me yesterday which made me decide I should go on fasting.

An old man called me up to help him stand. He was slumped in the gutter. I was having second thoughts about helping him because he was one of those homeless guys who are really very dirty. But I extended my hand without me knowing and helped him up. We have a short conversation because I was running late. I did not even recall if he thank me or not. 

I took it as a sign to accept things as they are. I believe in charity. I include everyone in my prayers.

Ramadan kareem

Today starts the holy month of Ramadan for our Muslim brothers and sisters all around the globe. I wish them peace and reconciliation as the Great Teacher wanted us, everyone, to have.

I will do my share and I hope I can keep up. The fasting during Ramadan, the holiest month of Muslims, means not only penance but sharing of joy of seeing the path to righteousness and be compassionate with those who are hungry. When you fast, you are in solidarity with our brothers and sisters who do not have anything in their tables. That is why Ramadan is also a month of peace, love and charity.

Let us be charitable always.

Fasting and Ramadan: Last Night

I am quite emotional. Tonight is the last night of my fasting. For 30 days during the Ramadan, I have survived whole and alive.

And tonight, the last night of my fasting, I could not help but cry and give thanks to Him that made me stronger each day of the fast.

The Holy Quran says tonight is the night to give and forgive. In my heart, I have forgiven all who have caused me pain and sorrow. Likewise I asked them to forgive me, which I also did in the beginning of the fast.

Quoting from the Muslim's Holy Quran, it says- The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better; then lo, he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a bosom friend.

Hating to be self-righteous and preachy and all, I hope I have done better. The Ramadan has taught me a lot. More personal actually, and I hope I can keep it up. Some say I was just another hypocrite, or just doing the fasting for show (how will we know you really are fasting?), and some other judgmental issues they throw against me, but it is not my capacity to judge back. The fact is that I have done what is best for me and for me only. My fasting has taught me how to become resilient, to restrain myself from food and sexual desires and eventual control of myself. A better and experienced person I hope.

And for all of these, I thank Him more than anything. Or anyone.

In closing, I would like to share you these secrets I read as I do my last day of fasting from the book titled The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die by John Izzo:

First secret: Be true to your self.
Second secret: Leave no regrets.
Third secret: Become love.
Fourth secret: Live the moment.
Fifth secret: Give more than you take.

I wish you all peace and good health and camaraderie for the year round. May God bless us all.

Eid Mubarak!

Fasting and Ramadan: Sick

Two days more to go and I would complete my fasting during the Ramadan.

But in the final stretch, my body seemed so weak. I could no longer wake up at 3 in the morning to prepare my food. So I spend the whole day weak, hungry and barely have the time to move around.

Maybe this is a test of strength and patience, so I believe. I have been remiss in my prayers actually and succumb to the pleasures of waiting the breaking of fast.

Patience, patience, patience, that's what my brother Muslim told me.

So these final days, instead of getting more sick, I conditioned myself to make it to Eid. And doing so I could do the giving and forgiving part.

A note on giving, maybe because I am fasting, I realized I have so much graces at home, including abundant food. I never had it before. Before they turn useless, I share them with a needy family.

This is the month of kindness and charity. Be kind to everyone, I was told, even to myself. And so I share.

How we rate the different restos in Cebu (feeling Bourdain)

This 25th day of my fasting made me realized that it is not only a personal and spiritual journey but also a culinary discovery as well.

With my Muslim friend (who do most of the paying part, thanks brother, hehehe), we hopped on to different restaurants where we could find something for us to eat during the breaking of fast. That means- no pork, more vegetables and fish and should be fresh.

Not knowing it but at this time, we already have our system of grading them. The ambience, the food, the service and the place, we rated them as we eat or in the case of bad experience, we do the rating outside after we paid.

Here are the places we have gone to and with an overall scores right after the names. Please take note that we are not experts on the culinary field and our scoring should not be used as basis for intimidating the restos mentioned. (As if, hahaha.) Our scoring is based on our personal likes and dislikes. The scores are ratings from 1-10, 10 being the highest and 1 the lowest.

ANZANI RESTAURANT - 10

Nivel Hills, Lahug, Cebu (near Bellini)

This place is expensive but the food is extremely superb. A bowl of soup costs about P450(?). But the service is impeccable. Even if you see how tired are the faces of the service crew, they still give you a heartwarming smile. The place is cool for an intimate date, although it would be full on weekends.

CHING PALACE - 8

Salinas Drive, Lahug, Cebu

This is also quite an expensive Chinese restaurant. You can actually select your food on display from the aquariums before they are cooked. The place is frequented by foreigners (Koreans, Chinese, some Europeans) and tour groups as evident from the buses waiting outside when we went there.

MR AA BARBECUE - 8

Salinas Drive, Lahug, Cebu

Andres Abellana, Guadalupe, Cebu

I prefer to eat at their branch in Guadalupe because the service crew there are more attentive and will always give you what you want even if it was not in the menu, like for example, caramelized sugar. The Lahug branch is stuffy with smoke from their grills.

KRUA THAI - 7

Banilad Town Center, Banilad, Cebu

Although the place is nice but the ambience is not good. The music is blasting with pop culture. My favorite food from here is pomelo salad and tom yum gong. I ordered my pomelo salad without pork, but when it arrived, the pork was still there.

ALEJANDRO'S - 5

Don Jose Avila St., Capitol Site, Cebu

We ordered fish, prawn, vegetables, clam soup and they all arrived one by one in a span of 20-30 minutes. Except for the excellent clam soup, everything we ordered were salty, as if their chef wanted to marry but his parents won't let him.

DON MERTO'S RESTAURANT - 8

Casa Escano B&B, Juana Osmeña St., Cebu

This restaurant is quite a find. Situated outside the heavy traffic of Cebu, the place is just perfect. The ambience is that of an old hacienda, only you wish there are horses outside. Their salmon dish is excellent with mashed potato. The chicken is also sweet and delicious. The price is affordable.

CASA VERDE - 3

Pond St., near Ramos, Cebu

We requested a table for two and was shown at the garden. Most of the dishes in the menu are pork/beef so we asked the waiter what is their next bestseller. He pointed out the fish something. I ordered the fried fish with veggies and my friend the grilled fish with veggies. They came in oily and looks the same. The veggies dry and no longer appetizing. Our fresh mango juice smelled like it was stored in a cupboard for a long time. We ordered iced tea again but they only serve the flavored iced teas. No choice but to order the raspberry flavor. It was a disaster.

MAE KRUA - 6

near Diplomat Hotel, Ramos St., Cebu

After that disastrous meal (we barely touched our food) at Casa Verde, we walked just a few steps towards Velez Hospital hoping to have a good dinner at this small Thai resto I saw there. Eating Thai would be a relief from the hunger we felt. The food is so-so and some nice. The tom yum very salty. The pomelo salad and the spring rolls out of stock. But I love the sticky rice with coconut ice cream! And also the tamarind juice was heavenly. We went there towards closing time (9pm) so almost all their stocks are also gone. The waiter said the place is also owned by the Krua Thai management.

SIAM - 8

The Terraces, Ayala Center, Cebu

The food is great here. Not too expensive. Lots of choices.

LEMON GRASS - 8

The Terraces, Ayala Center, Cebu

An Asian food fusion, you will love their food as well as the place. For those who are fasting the whole day, the citrus drink with fresh mint is a welcome relief.

LAGUNA CAFE - 9

The Terraces, Ayala Center, Cebu

An excellent place to experience Filipino cuisine at its best. Authentic, affordable and excellent service. A good place to recommend to your foreign guests.

BANANALEAF - 7

The Terraces, Ayala Center, Cebu

More Asian food here. Although I find their nasi goreng quite lacking in texture, but still is passable. The pomelo salad is way behind Krua Thai's. I asked the waiter why the pomelo is bitter and not sweet. He told me the purchaser wasn't able to find a good one. Speaking of quality control.

CYMA - 8

The Terraces, Ayala Center, Cebu

If you crave for Greek and Mediterranean food, Cyma is the right place. The restaurant is quite expensive though but the food serving is generous you can't make a clean swipe off your plate. Ambience is great but be sure not to panic when all the staff would shout OPAH! everytime somebody orders a flaming dish. And they would insist you do order them, so be prepared to join the yell so the newbies would feel what you felt.

CAFE UNO - 9

Watefront Hotel, Lahug, Cebu

Buffet starts at P650 per excluding taxes. They have an excellent array of Asian, European food. You can have it grilled, fried, toasted, whatever. The pastries are varied and a welcoming sight for the sweet tooth. The waiting staff are very attentive and helpful.

ABUHAN DOS - 2

Ramos St., Cebu

My friend went there with his newfound friend but he said he didn't like the food. Although he said the place is nice with that old house ambience. I was able to eat at Abuhan Tres in IT Park but I also did not like the food there.

ABASERIA - 8

at the back of Sarossa Hotel, Kasambagan, Cebu

When I brought my friend there, he fell in love with the place. The resto is not too warm and not too cold. The music is cool. The whole place is actually cool. Like its name, you can see assorted things around the place aside from the extensive menu. The food is great and affordable. We actually go there from time to time.

MOOON CAFE - 4

near Andres Abellana St, Guadalupe, Cebu

We went there near closing time and the staff were quite tired. The second floor was already closed, and the seats and tables near the road were dusty. We ordered pizza but was not able to eat them so we have it packed. The place was full of mosquitos and smoking Koreans.

CHIKAAN SA CEBU - 8

Salinas Drive, Lahug, Cebu

This is also a nice Filipino restaurant. The food is great and not too expensive. So many people come here during dinner and getting your bill and your change would always take longer.

MGA LUTUIN NI NANAY - 6

Escario St. infront of Capitol Building, Cebu

I ordered beef menudo, rice, fried fish, and Fit 'n Right juice and paid only P88. This carenderia boasts none of the trimmings of classy restos but is frequented by regular patrons especially during working days. The food is great and cheap.

Fasting and Ramadan: Patience and Misconceptions

On our way to our fasting break, I asked Ary why he had a flight schedule when it will be a holiday on Monday. Our driver, upon hearing, asked me why it would be a holiday this Monday. I told him some influential person died and will be buried on Monday. I regretted having informed him. We were literally bombarded non-stop, for about 15 minutes, of his anger towards Gloria Arroyo. Puro na lang ta holiday ani sa Pilipinas natapulan na ta. These holidays made us lazy Filipinos.

Patience, in moments like this, is a virtue.

Which reminds me to use my patience again when asked about my fasting during Ramadan. Until now people still ask. I give my answer.

I found out that we are still biased against our Muslim brothers and sisters. Many times, we smirk at the thought of Ramadan because we Christians believed fasting is unnecessary and only for show especially when Muslims overstuff themselves during the night. Magpista man na sila inig ka gabii. They are having a fiesta during the night. And when Filipinos say the magic word FIESTA, we are reminded of anything in excess. Pork, food, liquor.

I found this shocking and not true.

For one, when you are fasting, the thought of stuffing yourself in excess (food, to be specific) after the break, would find you in a terrible state. Although the thought of food is a welcome relief, it would do you no good to overeat. In my case, I barely have the energy to eat after the break. I have to eat for nourishment and for me to survive another day.

I am an incessant drunk, but having a bottle of beer after dinner made my head ache and my stomach upset. So the thought of them Muslims stuffing like it is the end of the world is purely fabricated.

When you are hungry, you will learn a lot of lessons in life. Your spirituality, your connection with God and other beings, your relationship with other people, your fragile life. You even won't mind people trying to destroy you. You live your life. You pray. I know I am too preachy and I know I would only be jeered. That is called life. Patience, my dear.

Today is my 16th day of fasting. I shall make it to the 21st of September. And I will. But this fasting stuff won't make me a saint. Promise.

In conclusion I share with you this prayer from a Muslim-

May your blessings be too many to count. And your worries too few to matter. May your days be full of sunshine. And your nights in comfort. May you never go hungry. And be able to share your bounty. May God bless and protect you. And strengthen your faith. May you be free from oppression, hatred, persecution and fear. Please remember those who go hungry all year long. Ramadan Mubarak to all.

(pic from in-gender.com)

Fasting and Ramadan: The Invisible Cloak

I made a very long travel over the weekend considering the distance and the time made for travel alone. I readied myself for this because I knew from the start that I would be wearing my invisible cloak and take shelter from it to drive away the temptation I called friends.

It was a double edged-sword, actually. Imagine, it seemed forever to reach Dumaguete and Siquijor by way of land from Cebu. The whole stretch made me feel so tired. And it was a torture for anyone who, like me, was fasting.

My brother Muslim told me that travelling adults were exempted to fast but I tried my best to do mine and keep it intact until September 21. That was the torture part.

Food of every kind swamped me during the course of the travel. My friends insisted that I break my fast. Food suddenly appeared every now and then. Out of their bags. Out from hawkers. Out of everybody. You know Filipinos love to eat when they are tensed. I was alright.

We stayed at Rex's house in Dumaguete last Saturday. Dumaguete is in fact a good place to break fast. Food choices was not a problem.

Sunday came and we braced ourselves for another stretch. This time, to Siquijor. The mad sea made us groggy. I declared that the ferries going to Dumaguete and Siquijor are not real men. They swayed all thoughout the trip and back. Like some ladyboys we saw everywhere.

I succumbed to temptations when our gracious host in Siquijor offered us fresh buko. I texted my adviser if it was okay to eat fresh fruits and drink fresh juice. He told me that I am not a Muslim and I should not consider myself as one. At twelve noon, I thirstily grabbed the buko juice and had my fill. It was heaven. I broke my fast more later towards late afternoon. The invisible cloak was abandoned.

Despite the same torture on the way back to the route we travelled, I again took my fasting seriously, doning my invisibility cloak one more time.

I arrived home intact. A gift from Azary, waiting for me.

Fasting and Ramadan: Gun Shots

I was cowering in fear and was perspiring a lot. Felt so cold and yet perspiring.

I was riding this tricycle driven by a brother I did not know. The trike has a machine gun mounted on it. But suddenly the machine gun was directed at me. Before long a bullet could burst and tore me in pieces, I jumped out of the trike and took cover. I ran, fell, ran, fell and ran. I saw my mother and I took refuge in her comfort. But still the powers of the invasion excused no one. So I ran again and fell again. I could not use my phone because it was traceable. But even if I use my phone, I did not kow whom to call. I ran.

Sudden burst of machine power took over the whole place where I was in. Even the powerlines were quivering in its power. It was like an alien invasion. Doomsday! I sensed a ringing. In my head. In my ears. The ringing was within my ears. It was too loud. I shouted in fear.

And then I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock. It is 3.30 in the morning. Time to prepare for my fast.

Today is my seventh and I could not think of anything in my prayers. I just sat there. Empty!

(Pic from soulpretty.blogspot.com)

Fasting and Ramadan: Hauntings

Today marks my sixth day of fasting. I am very glad I made it through.

Everyday I jot down notes and make blogs, recording my spiritual journey through fasting during the Ramadan. This is a feat I will surely treasure.

I am grateful for my friends who supported me this far. My family did not know this. Had they known they would surely say I am doing a silly thing.

The past days made me walk on a thin line. Everything I do made me vulnerable and emotional. At times, involuntary (and unnecessary) crying precedes prayers. I just don't know why and how this happens. It's like a free-flowing sort of activity. Like it's a part of the process. Sissy stuff.

But then again, prayers and support and a little bit more of an extended patience up to its very limit, I think, made me survive.

Actually, I hate the spirituality crap of this journey. I am not a religious person. Honestly. My friends asked me and even said I am preparing for my inevitable death hence this fasting. Truth be told, that's what old people do. Pray and pray and pray and make indulgences, fasting being one of them. As if prayers and acts of kindness could erase all the sins they have done when they were younger. Some even adopted priests and nuns to make up what they have lost. Kind of silly, actually.

But no matter how much I deny this fact, I could not refrain from putting theology side by side with my activity. This fasting and all. The ultimate answer leads to God, Allah, Jehovah, Yahweh, eternal peace.

And peace indeed I seek.

During this times, my dead ancestors (I hope they rest in peace) paid their nocturnal visits this past days during my fasting. They came as part of my dreams. Which leads me to ask, are they bothered with my observance of "Ramadan"?

My grandparents, my uncles, my neighbors, appeared in a rewind, like an old movie, always reminding me of the past. My grandparents came to me and took me back to the days when they were alive. Awfully happy and without a trace of sadness. My dead uncles visited me too. My neighbors smiled at me too. My favorite auntie is the only remaining dead person who have not made me dream of her. Am I crazy or what?

Whatever these reminders meant, they haunted me through the day. Maybe they are the reason why I am a bit emotional. Maybe they wanted me to discover things. Maybe they are leaving me a message. Maybe they were bored out there and making fun of me. Whatever that is, I am willing to uncover them. I still have about 23 days more to do this. But no! Please, don't leave messages that say it is already the end of the world!

May He will grant us peace and make us all stronger. Alhamdulillah!

(How I wish I could quote a Koran passage here but citing sensitivity to our brothers in Islam, I would not do that since I am not a Muslim.)

(Picture from here and here.)

Fasting and Ramadan: 3rd day

I was not able to say a more personal prayer this time because I have guests at home. When the alarm struck at 3:30 in the morning, someone asked: What are you doing?

So I just prepared a small food and bless them and started a very brief prayer.

Later part the day I have to say prayers while sitting somewhere.

No matter how I will explain myself, these people would not understand what I was doing. Silence is the best answer.

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Suddenly I craved for coffee. Before Ramadan, I usually took 5-6 cups a day. A day means daytime. Reason for me to lessen my coffee intake. Maybe one or two later tonight?

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Read somewhere this e-card and was amused. The message said- Since you can't engage in gossip, lust, or obscenity during Ramadan, let's just reconnect in October.

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Isn't it weird? I am a Christian with a Hebrew name observing Ramadan?

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Fasting and Ramadan: Second day

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock and mahjong set from a neighbor. I have to drag myself out of my bed, drag my body under the shower and hit the cold water. That woke me up.

Feeling clean, I prepared my food for the day- tuna sandwich and a glass of water. This will sustain me for the day, I thought.

When the food comfortably settled in my stomach, I began my prayers. I thanked Him for the good life I have experienced. I thanked Him for my family and friends. I asked for forgiveness and world peace. Honestly, when world peace came in my mind, my mind wandered off to the Miss Universe pageant. I actually laughed during prayer. 

I felt good.

Fasting and Ramadan: Surviving the first day

I was confused what to eat before starting my first day of fasting. Nobody told me that I should have eaten something heavier. I only ate a slice of multigrain loaf and a glass of water. When I felt relaxed I started my prayers. I felt good.

I went back to sleep since the morning seemed very early and woke up at 9 again. I murmured some thanksgiving prayers and did some yoga exercises. I felt hungry. Ignoring my hunger, I went online and posted some shoutouts. Everyone seemed either amused or confused with my decision to fast. They thought I was converted to Islam.

When noon time came my stomach began murmuring and my mouth was dry, my lips actually cracking. I did a very intimate prayer instead. I didn't know why I was crying during prayers. I could not keep my tears to stop flowing and was literally howling like some dog in pain. I poured everything out.

I realized that I should stop crying or else I wouldn't survive later the day. So again I did some yoga exercises to keep my mind focused.

The exciting part of fasting is, I believed, the test of willpower. Friends became temptations themselves. Some offering you unexpected food. Others offered drinks. I even received invites for lunch and cold beers. I appreciated their concern and turned down the offers. My Facebook was full of ridicule.

But I survived! I have to survive. I felt so drained but alive towards the end of my fast. Everywhere I looked I could see water in a glass. Icy-cold and inviting. I told myself if I have survived the last 14 hours without water why couldn't I in the last few minutes?

I was literally crawling on the way to get a glass of water when Azary called me up and told me to drink hot tea to break the fast. I never expected that. It was like pouring cold water to a raging fire, but I did.

I was peacefully sipping tea while watching the kids play some bloody games in my computer. I sipped some more green tea after my dinner of fish, chicken and dried fish.

Life is good. Alhamdulillah!

(Picture from objectsandevents.blogspot.com)

Fasting and Ramadan

Now that I have tried doing yoga, I will try fasting during the Ramadan.

Just to make this clear and straight- I am not a Muslim. But in honor of my Islamic friends I will do my own fasting during the Ramadan.

This is quite a challenge for me. For so long I have been wanting to fast (the real one) but it seems I could not let go of of alcohol, especially ice-cold beers. WIth food, I have no problem. I could go for days without eating.

I tried fasting for three days long time ago but wasn't able to make it through because I succumbed to the pleasures of the mind and body.

Now I want to try it again.

With the course of this fasting, I ask my friends and enemies for their forgiveness, those whom I have hurt I ask for pardon. I am a weak person and I am trying to make myself a better one.

Please help me guys. Thirty days without food and water from sunup to sundown is tough. Your prayers are welcome.

(picture from cruisemates.com)