My woes for the year 2011

Blame it on bad weather, I ushered the new year with depression and regrets. Maybe because I am too old for resolutions. Maybe because I am totally impoverish when the year 2011 came in. 

Indulge me, I should blame my current woes on the weather because it would not blame me back.

• I turned down several job offers because of principles. My own principles. Despite being idealistic, politics is still a bad choice.
• I have been so lazy I could not- no, the right word there is refused- to look for clients. I stood in a corner watching others go by.
• I am so mediocre, a second-rate copycat!
• I am irresponsible as always so that until now I still have pending and unsettled accounts. My lenders would not even looked at me in the eyes.
• I still am wallowing in my foolish pride.

I could go on forever but I shall spare you with my troubles because the list is quite long. I wanna be a millionaire so fucking bad! But these could be one of the reasons why I would not be:

10 Reasons You Aren't Rich by Jeffrey Strain (I copied all from the site because the author's thoughts are invaluable to be missed)

10. You Care What Your Neighbors Think

If you're competing against them and their material possessions, you're wasting your hard-earned money on toys to impress them instead of building your wealth.

9. You Aren't Patient

Until the era of credit cards, it was difficult to spend more than you had. That is not the case today. If you have credit card debt because you couldn't wait until you had enough money to purchase something in cash, you are making others wealthy while keeping yourself in debt.

8. You Have Bad Habits

Whether it's smoking, drinking, gambling or some other bad habit, the habit is using up a lot of money that could go toward building wealth. Most people don't realize that the cost of their bad habits extends far beyond the immediate cost. Take smoking, for example: It costs a lot more than the pack of cigarettes purchased. It also negatively affects your wealth in the form of higher insurance rates and decreased value of your home.

7. You Have No Goals

It's difficult to build wealth if you haven't taken the time to know what you want. If you haven't set wealth goals, you aren't likely to attain them. You need to do more than state, "I want to be a millionaire." You need to take the time to set saving and investing goals on a yearly basis and come up with a plan for how to achieve those goals.

6. You Haven't Prepared

Bad things happen to the best of people from time to time, and if you haven't prepared for such a thing to happen to you through insurance, any wealth that you might have built can be gone in an instant.

5. You Try to Make a Quick Buck
For the vast majority of us, wealth doesn't come instantly. You may believe that people winning the lottery are a dime a dozen, but the truth is you're far more likely to get struck by lightning than win the lottery. This desire to get rich quickly likely extends into the way you invest, with similar results.

4. You Rely on Others to Take Care of Your Money

You believe that others have more knowledge about money matters, and you rely exclusively on their judgment when deciding where you should invest your money. Unfortunately, most people want to make money themselves, and this is their primary objective when they tell you how to invest your money. Listen to other people's advice to get new ideas, but in the end you should know enough to make your own investing decisions.

3. You Invest in Things You Don't Understand

You hear that Bob has made a lot of money doing it, and you want to get in on the gravy train. If Bob really did make money, he did so because he understood how the investment worked. Throwing in your money because someone else has made money without fully understanding how the investment works will keep you from being wealthy.

2. You're Financially Afraid

You are so scared of risk that you keep all your money in a savings account that is actually losing money when inflation is put into the equation, yet you refuse to move it to a place where higher rates of return are possible because you're afraid that you will lose money.

1. You Ignore Your Finances

You take the attitude that if you make enough, the finances will take care of themselves. If you currently have debt, it will somehow resolve itself in the future. Unfortunately, it takes planning to become wealthy. It doesn't magically happen to the vast majority of people.

I am OC

I know if people would mess my things, especially at home. I can't help but rearrange things that are askew when I see them. Even if they are not mine. I wipe tables in restaurants when they are wet or something messy is splashed on them.

Lately, upon my transfer to another apartment to save rental costs, I could not help but notice that the bathroom is, hmmm, quite messy, to say the least. Of all the places in a home, it is the bathroom we called CR that I got my impression on the household.

After five days of tiptoeing around the CR, I could no longer contain my irritation. If I would not clean them, nobody would. Or that was the cleanest my housemates could get.

Armed with muriatic acid, strong cleaning powder and two brushes, I attacked the CR for almost an hour, scrubbing the walls and floors and toilet bowl until they were shining white. Even if the fumes literally suffocated me right there inside. I gasp for air once in a while.

My prize? Really painful blistered hands that I had a hard time navigating the mouse of my computer.

Whew! So much for OC-ness.

When clients pull you down

I was asked by the printing press to do a layout for a client because, as is almost the case when they ask me to design, it was an emergency job. Emergency could mean they need it a day after, on the first hour; or right then and there.

Well, I have no immediate things to do so I took the materials over the weekend so I could work them at home.

I did not know that the client has a favorite layout designer at the printing press and he was already pressing him to do his project. He could not say no, the designer told me, because the client was very annoying, he said. How annoying, I have yet to know.

I went to the press later in the afternoon on Monday to submit my job. I was introduced to the client. So I opened my files for him to comment.

All I heard were-

I already had my layout. Please use them.

Don't use this because I don't like this.

You are using my pic. But it's okay.

This one I don't like.

I should not have accepted this project.

I am already tired.

I have problems with the materials.

Where is (the other designer)? Ask him about my approved layout.

I am already tired and hungry.

Where is my file? I have them here.

My sister has approved this already so this should be used.

I can not wait for (the other designer).

Blah blah blah.

If it was not rude enough, I could have stuffed my ears with some headphones or ear protector just not to mind him. He was babbling not with pure energy but all negative things about the project. My head ached and I felt drugged.

So I told the other designer and the head of the pre-press department that I have no choice but turnover the project to my fellow designer since he already has the layout which the client preferred. I do not like to start someone else's job.

The next day I came to the press once again and happened to chance by the client there and my friend designer. The client was babbling again on the phone telling everyone he suffered already with that project. Like he was crucified. Like he owned all the burdens of the world. In fact, I never heard an inspiring word from him the whole day he was in the office. The designer was also telling me he was slowly dying a very painful death. I felt his disastrous affair with the client.

And it was just a 20-page souvenir program project.

(pic grabbed from here.)

Rules, rules, rules

Everyone is tired of rules, or so I believed. Everywhere we can see them. Some even are ridiculous all we can do is laugh at them. But almost always we love to break rules. 

Douglas MacArthur once said, Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind. But don't mind him. He is already dead.

But then again rules made us civilized people, so they say. Without rules there is only chaos. And we love them chaos. Sometimes. I am a chaotic person myself. Inside and out. Well- not really. Just an obsessive-compulsive nincoompoop.

But what is mind-boggling to me is why my classmate in high school sent me this email just this morning. Maybe he want me to obey them?

Let me share this to you so we all, in some way, do them. I surely would break some. Who wants to be blessed? Most of them blessed are somewhere dead.

10 RULES FOR A BLESSED DAY

1. Today I will not strike back. If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind, I will not respond in a like manner.
   
2. Today I will ask God to bless my ‘enemy.’ If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand “enemy” could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker or stranger.
   
3. Today I will be careful about what I say. I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not spread gossip.
   
4. Today I will go the extra mile. I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.
   
5. Today I will forgive. I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.
   
6. Today I will do something kind for someone, but I will do it in secret. I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.
   
7. Today I will treat others the way I wish to be treated. I will practice the golden rule. “Do unto others as I would have them do unto me” - with EVERYONE I encounter.
   
8. Today I will raise the spirits of someone who is discouraged. My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the difference to someone who is wrestling with life.
   
9. Today I will nurture my body. I will eat less. I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my body.
   
10. Today I will grow spiritually. I will spend a little more time in prayer today. I will begin reading something spiritual or inspirational; I will find a quiet place (at some point during this day) and listen to God’s voice.
    

cartoon from german-business-etiquette.com
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"He who talks to the Lord is pious and prayerful; He who hears the Lord is either delusional or actively hallucinating."  -from Doc Clara
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Lonely at the top

Despite the heavy load I am undergoing now- some stuff badly needed for Sandugo Festival in Bohol because they did not like the studies the artist designed for them, I am basically empty. Work, work and work seems to be my only concern and I am lonely.

Some asshole of a friend told me this is because I am just getting old. A mystery just like PMS in women. I hate mysteries. They remind me of hours of kneeling and repetitious prayers. And growing old doesn't mean you would become lonely. I think.

But still I am.

Does staying at home because you don't have money to spend a symptom of maturity? I mean getting old? Or blatantly saying I AM BROKE is synonymous with old age? Or I am just lonely because I don't have money? No money + old age = Loneliness? Why it always comes to money? Or is it really money?

I don't know. I am lonely.

Such is the wonder of loneliness. You babble out nonsense.

Another confession

I know. You are already tired with these personality quizzes telling you who you are not or what will become of you. Some even tells you the exact date and time when you will die. Gross!

After being pestered by Rex to take the exams (I was reading a book and seriously engrossed with it), I grudgingly tried to. But the results seem nice and was telling me my behavior. I could say 95% true. Know me more? Read this.

So consider this as another personality confessions.

My results-

Name: Edik
Date: 4/28/2009
Colorgenics Number: 63120475

---

You are a very emotional and sensitive individual. Your life and love of life is dominated by your emotions - you have great feeling towards your fellow man and you are always full of enthusiasm but be careful, you tend to let your heart rule your head and this being so, you could be easily hurt - as perhaps you may have indeed been hurt in the past.

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognise the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, 'Simpatico'.

Although you are, deep down, a very caring person, you are very particular in the choice of friends and indeed very demanding at times. You can be most quarrelsome and controversial and it is because of this argumentative trait you can at times explode into open conflict - conflict with even those you may care for and love. It is because of this inherent argumentative streak in you that may have resulted in broken hopes and dreams.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You are carried away by other people's enthusiasm and looking for that idealised relationship, be it in a business or personal situation, which you are able to share with a mutual depth of understanding. You have lowered your defences in the past and you have been hurt, so you are now extremely wary of being exploited. You are still ready to trust people on the condition that they are prepared to offer you proof of their sincerity.

You wish to safeguard yourself against criticism or conflict and to embed yourself in a protected situation. You are a difficult person to relate to and very difficult to please.

If you are interested to take the little quiz, follow this link- Colorgenics Quiz.

Another Confession (Or thoughts that came in as I read Paul Theroux's The Lesson Of My Life article)

I am hard-headed. Hard-head because I do not confer my life with other people's and live my life according to theirs. 

Many times friends and relatives, mostly friends, ask me what will my future be. I never really planned my life as it should be and I never have a thought that when I grow old I should have the money to cling on to. 

While others save for their future, I go and explore the world and splurge my earnings for my family. I don't give them money, my family. Although The Mom would sometimes ask for something for our farmland and The Pa would ask for improvement of his bike and occasionally I secretly put an amount in my aunts' hands. It is all for family. 

I love them. Love can also be a dinner in an expensive restaurant which we rarely go. Or an expensive gift for an occasion. Or a bunch of goodies for each of our growing family.

When all settles down and everyone is satisfied, I don't have money to spare for a trip back to my place or for the rent and utilities, but I have given my family something to remember. As opposed to The Sis who is known to have become a millionaire and yet no member of the family would dare and ask something from her.

Friends say I am a drifter. I say I am. But my family looks at me as their idol. Who can beat that?

I go whenever and wherever the wind blows. I live life as it is.

I have cracks in my head but my family loves me.

(Photo taken by Ary and Photoshop-ped by Edik) 

To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

I've been crazy these past days and harboring ill thoughts against a lover and mankind in general and myself included, despite my being an alien. Unfortunately an email from a friend I read today made me laugh madly. Maybe I should try one of these:

• At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  
• Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
  
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 
  
• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  
• In the memo field of all your checks, write Marijuana.
  
• Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
  
• Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 
  
• Specify that your drive-through order is To Go. 
  
• Sing along at the opera.
  
• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache. 
  
• When the money comes out from the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
  
• When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!' 
  
• Tell your children 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.' 
  

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity 

• Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
  

Yet another fool digital mixed media by iandale.net

Nakisakay na rin sa 48

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes. From the first High Priest and King of Salem- Melchizedik.

"He is also called the King of Salem (Hebrews 7:1-2; Gen.14:18). Salem is another name for Jerusalem (Psalm 76:1-2) and means peace. Hebrews 7:2 makes a strong point of the fact that Melchizedek is “first” the King of righteousness and “after that” the King of peace."

But hey, I am the exact opposite.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last week.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Not anymore. I prefer to use keyboards.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? 2 piece hot/crispy chicken from KFC. Any other parts but surely not that drumstick/leg part. And large Mountain Dew please.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Not anymore.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Definitely yes. I am irresistible.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Why ask?

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Let me check. I think so. Why?

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? If there is a chance, why not?

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I don't have preferences. Any cereal will do. I am a cereal killer.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Yes, and place them shoes on its proper place.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Any ice-cream is my favorite ice-cream. I could eat a gallon in one sitting. I have eaten dirty ice-creams, expensive ice-creams, fried ice-creams.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their faces and then their toes. If I see dirty toes but clean faces, most likely the dirty toes would affect my judgment on the person.

15. RED OR PINK? Red!

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I love myself!

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My family. When I heard our house was flooded, suddenly I missed them.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? I don't care.

19. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR PANTS AND SHOES YOU WEARING? Now? Grey and orange shoes. Gray shorts. Orange and blue shirt.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Bjork's Venus As A Boy. 

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Orange.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? Cologne.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Jun Sibi, the owner of the printing press I work with, reminding me again of deadlines.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? I love him.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Volleyball could pass but I am not a sports enthusiast.

27. HAIR COLOR? Dark brown with specks of gray hairs.

28. EYE COLOR? Brown.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No.

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Nothing in particular but I am choosy with food.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Scary movies.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Push. But I love Heroes more.

33. WHAT COLOR IS THE SHIRT YOU ARE WEARING? Now? Orange. But I like to wear white, brown and other earth tones.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Experienced winter and it was terrible!

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Both.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Whoever.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I don't know.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? If you consider Designers Guide to Color as a book, well-

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Lights, blue and red.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? I don't have TV and don't like TV much.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S). Wind. Waves. Kids' laughter. Happy sounds.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Canada.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Would feeling other-worldly-beings a talent? No? How about fire-eating?

46 WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Probably in our ancestral house in Batuan, Bohol. It never came to mind to ask my mom.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? He just did.

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Cebu.

So Many Things About Me

Being 41 is not an assurance that you know yourself better. Infact, age is not really a concrete basis to know a person well. You know what I mean. But a friend, Angie, enlightened me on my personality type after I published my 25-Random-Things-About-Me stuff. She told me I am an ADULT INDIGO. The term was alien to me. I was confused when she told me on this. Never had I encountered the term.

To know me better, I am copying in full the description of an ADULT INDIGO from metagifted.org. Those who know me, you be the judge.

Indigo Adult Characteristics (bold ones reflect more of my personality)

• Are intelligent, though may not have had top grades.
  
• Are very creative and enjoy making things.
  
• Always need to know WHY, especially why they are being asked to do something.
  
• Had disgust and perhaps loathing for much of the required and repetitious work in school.
  
• Were rebellious in school in that they refused to do homework and rejected authority of teachers, OR seriously wanted to rebel, but didn't DARE, usually due to parental pressure.
  
• May have experienced early existential depression and feelings of helplessness. These may have ranged from sadness to utter despair. Suicidal feelings while still in high school or younger are not uncommon in the Indigo Adult.
  
• Have difficulty in service-oriented jobs. Indigos resist authority and caste system of employment.
  
• Prefer leadership positions or working alone to team positions.
  
• Have deep empathy for others, yet an intolerance of stupidity.
  
• May be extremely emotionally sensitive including crying at the drop of a hat (no shielding) Or may be the opposite and show no expression of emotion (full shielding).
  
• May have trouble with RAGE.
  
• Have trouble with systems they consider broken or ineffective, ie. political, educational, medical, and legal.
  
• Alienation from or anger with politics - feeling your voice won't count and/or that the outcome really doesn't matter.
  
• Frustration with or rejection of the traditional American dream - 9-5 career, marriage, 2.5 children, house with white picket fence, etc.
  
• Anger at rights being taken away, fear and/or fury at "Big Brother watching you."
  
• Have a burning desire to do something to change and improve the world. May be stymied what to do. May have trouble identifying their path.
  
• Have psychic or spiritual interest appear fairly young - in or before teen years.
  
• Had few if any Indigo role models. Having had some doesn't mean you're not an indigo, though.
  
• Have strong intuition.
  
• Random behavior pattern or mind style - (symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder). May have trouble focusing on assigned tasks, may jump around in conversations.
  
• Have had psychic experiences, such as premonitions, seeing angels or ghosts, out of body experiences, hearing voices.
  
• May be electrically sensitive such as watches not working and street lights going out as you move under them, electrical equipment malfunctioning and lights blowing out.
  
• May have awareness of other dimensions and parallel realities.
  
• Sexually are very expressive and inventive OR may reject sexuality in boredom or with intention of achieving higher spiritual connection. May explore alternative types of sexuality.
  
• Seek meaning to their life and understanding about the world. May seek this through religion or spirituality, spiritual groups and books, self-help groups and books.
  
• When they find balance they may become very strong, healthy, happy individuals.
  

Please note, anyone could have a few of these traits, but Indigo Adults have most or all of these 25 characteristics.

25 Random Things About Me (it could have been 6 or 66 or 666 but taggers insisted it should only be 25)

1. I am a battered child. In our generation, no law prohibited parents from torturing children. My parents always had a reason to pinch me, spank me using anything that came in handy like belts, brooms, sticks, firewood. I was even knocked down with a pestle, that heavy wood used to pound rice. I wasn’t able to walk for a day. My brother and sisters had a share of this misfortune. A sis was struck with a wooden bench. My siblings and I had ducked from flying saucers, coconut shells and knives. And we were not prodigal sons and daughters. In fact, neighbors and teachers praised us because we were the most subservient of children in our community. Until now I still have unresolved issues with my parents.
   
2. I am slightly claustrophobic. Enclosed places remind me of oppression and fear.  I used to hide in the darkest closets and unused rooms and cowered in fear because battery was inevitable. Until now that experience in dark closets would send me gasping for air when I am in a room with no visible windows.
   
3. I love rooms with lots of windows, preferably floor to ceiling windows.
   
4. I am an obsessive-compulsive person. I could not afford to see dirty or topsy-turvy places. I know when someone mess my things around even if returned to their proper places. I just know. My dinner plate is always clean like it’s ready for use even before I leave the table. I arrange skewed artworks in exhibitions and museums. I could not handle public washrooms, and public equipment, that is why I wash my hands as much as possible.
   
5. I hate cockroaches of any kind. They remind me of dirty things. I used to bring Baygon spray in my bag.
   
6. I am generously kind. I say Thank You a lot and apologized even if it was not my fault. I used up my finances to spend for my family and friends.
   
7. I am not an alcoholic despite of the fact that I think I would almost (almost lang naman) die if I could not have a drink or two each day. But my brother is, I am sure. Two of my uncles died of liver cirrhosis. Most cousins and relatives loved drinking. Some succumbed to that fact. Our clan is known as THE clan of drunkards.
   
8. I love mixing drinks and experiment on them. I also love to cook and experiment on the how tos. I baked my first bread when I was 13. I have no recipe. It was nothing glamorous, only that I used clay-pots when I baked that bread.  My dead aunt (it was not my baked bread that caused her death) claimed it was better than the ones sold at public markets. I never bake ever since.
   
9. I don’t have television at my place but I bought one for my parents. If given the chance to watch TV, I would rather have National Geographic channel, Discovery and its sister channels and hate those channel surfers who would not consider other people watching a show.
   
10. I fear driving. My first bicycle ride was traumatic. I brought along my cousin with me and I did not know how to navigate a curve. We ran smacked into a running tricycle. My cousin was transported in the passenger seat of the tricycle, my face was bleeding from a wound, and our bike’s wheels were formed into number 8s. I tried again, this time traversing half the island of Bohol. I almost got myself killed when the chain of the bike malfunctioned and I was caught between a stationary delivery truck and Dory Transit speeding through. My first four-wheel drive was with a Pajero but it was not that disastrous. I almost ran over a pedestrian. My first motorcycle drive gave me a burnt leg and a sprained arm.
    
11. I do not consider myself as an artist despite people tagging me as one. Yes I used to draw. That was before. I used to paint. That was before. I never had the chance to perfect my talents (if they were considered talents) because I could not afford them. Anyway, I still have artist tantrums rooted in me.
    
12. I am the only photographer who does not own a camera. Seriously, there are hi-tech camera owners out there who could not even compose a good shot. If you consider a mobile phone with a camera as the tool of my trade, then I am a photographer. I depend so much on my Sony Ericsson W810i.
    
13. I never graduated from college. I am an undergrad with just a few more semesters, two to be exact, before I could have a diploma, and I quit. It could have been a Bachelor of Science in Philosophy!  In fact, if not of my neighbors who adopted me during my high school days, I would never finish high school. I hate boring teachers. I know better than them. This being an undergrad, is the reason why I resigned from government service. I used to work with the government, my position being Computer Programmer despite my ignorance with computers. I never had any background with computers. Not even with typewriters. I used only four of my digits when I am typing, with the occasional thumb for spacebar. The HR department did not ask if I graduated or if I have a diploma. My skills in writing and designs saved me. Later, when I was getting too popular when a new governor took over, my credentials were checked and I was forced to resign.
    
14. I love books. I love Pablo Neruda, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and Edgar Allan Poe to name a few. Poe, especially. I consider myself a writer (blogger, for now) especially when I am drunk. During my college days, the school’s publication editor would drown me in alcohol so I could fill in some space. My grades would be saved if the teacher gave essay questions because I know how to get things in perspective rather than fill in some blanks. I was usually drunk during exams.
    
15. I have been in serious relationships but always came out wounded and battered. I became a liar out of past relations. I felt used and abused. I also used and abused lovers. I learned to drown myself on a deadly combination of alcohol and drugs. Slashed my wrists out of jealousy. Hoping to recover, the past years have been dry and lonely as a choice. Transgressions now things of past, and lessons learned, I believed I have recovered from those disasters. Lately, starting a clean slate, I met and fell in love with a person I used to know. We have started our journey together and hoping for the best to come for both of us.
    
16. People see me as strict, aloof and a social climbing publicity whore. My friends see me as a happy, loving and trustworthy person. Children would always come to me especially special ones. I have pacified kids on tantrum spree. I have taken cared of babies of strangers.
    
17. I am a music lover and can hum a tune or two but I could not remember titles, lyrics and artists of the songs. My music genre includes arias, classical (not classics, although I also love them), rhythm and blues, fado, trance, smooth jazz, ambient, world, kundiman and some pop. I hate karaoke the most. I hate people who exude confidence and shamelessly sang in karaoke joints but could not even tell if they are off-tuned.
    
18. I only eat a full meal once a day. This is out of necessity and not a dietary requirement. If I have enough funds, I usually go to KFC and order two-piece hot and crispy chicken and a large Mountain Dew. If I feel rich, I would grab Japanese and Thai food. Spicy food is a big come-on for me. If the food lacks the zest, I would always ask for chili powder.
    
19. Given a choice, I would rather be in the countryside than big cityscapes. But I also love to travel. Traveling gives me a chance to unwind, be with friends and meet new ones and experience different personalities and culture. Favorite tambayan? Cemeteries during sunsets. Quiet and beautiful.
    
20. I love walking in the rain but would cower shamelessly when there is lightning and thunder. Rainy days usually are the perfect time to have cups of coffee, although every time is coffee time for me. But rains give the ambience.
    
21. I used to have a beautiful penmanship. My teachers would always ask me to write things on the board and on their lesson plans when I was in high school and college. Now, my writings are like doodles and lacked the beauty it used to have. When asked to fill in a questionnaire, a keyboard would be the best option rather than a pen.
    
22. I have nude pictures being circulated in the internet. A hacker (and maybe a desperate admirer or an abandoned lover) brought them out and sent them to heads of offices and employees from my former employer, the provincial government of Bohol. The hacker even threatened to post them around Tagbilaran. Being the epitome of glamorous cool, I offered myself to help. I retained my composure all through the incident raising eyebrows of employees who accused me later as culprit pretending to spread my nude pictures to cover up my HR mess. I don’t know what kind of brain those people have, if they have, but covering a bad act with another scandalous act in the hope of redemption is not my cup of tea.
    
23. I have tattoos and planning to have another that would cover both my arms. My icons are Sun and Moon. People who mistook tats as symbols of incarceration should stop their narrow outlook. Historically, Visayans were called pintados because of tattoos all over their bodies.   
    
24. I have a collection of masks. Wood masks from Asia and Africa. Ceramic masks from Mexico. Steel masks from UK and Italy. Paper mache masks from Japan and the Philippines. Fiber glass masks from Germany.
    
25. My favorite color is orange. 
    

Birthday ko kasi so ayan confessions na!