The CBCP now asks its flock to be slow in judgment (from All Apologies)

The Roman Catholic Church in the Philippines is again in the limelight because of its involvement in government fund misuse. In an effort to gain confidence from its flock, the powerful Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines/CBCP (not minding that the ones involved in the controversy were bishops) issued a pastoral statement to be read during masses.

I am expecting another re-assignment to be done soon by the Church. This is what they do with erring priests, as always the case.

The following is a full quote from The Professional Heckler, my favorite humor blogger. He rightly read what's behind the apology issued by CBCP. Thank you Sir Loy.

IN A PASTORAL STATEMENT read by outgoing CBCP president Nereo Odchimar Monday, the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines apologized to the members of the Catholic Church after several bishops got embroiled in the PCSO fund controversy. Here’s a portion of that letter [and what the CBCP wanted to say but couldn’t in parentheses.]

Our Dear People of God,

[Mga Tagasunod,]

Our Mother Church has been deeply wounded by the controversies in the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office that have erupted in the past two weeks.

[Nitong mga nakaraang linggo, sumusobra na kayo. Pikon na ang Simbahan. As in!]

Some members of the Church believe in the innocence of the bishops involved in the issue, while others do not.

[Kung ayaw n’yong maniwala, ‘wag!]

There is no doubt that everywhere in the Church there is great sorrow.

[Kung saan-saan na kami nagdasal, ayaw pa ring tumigil!]

We your pastors are one with you.

[Higit kailanman, kailangan namin kayo ngayon.]

… we are sorry for the pain and sadness that these events have brought upon you.

[‘Sensya na, tao lang.]

We are saddened that many of you… have been confused because of the apparent inconsistency of our actions…

[Hindi lang kayo ang 'confused!' Marami ring pari at obispo ang confused!']

As we express our sadness, we also ask you to be slow in judgment…

[‘Wag kayong mapanghusga. Bakit?! Talaga namang kadiri ang same-sex marriage ah. Judgmental ba ‘yon?]

Let us seek the truth always in charity.

[Lalabas din ang katotohanan. Basta ang donasyon, ituloy n’yo lang.]

We assure you that the bishops concerned are ready to accept responsibility for their action…

[Kinastigo na namin at binantaang ititiwalag. Kapag ‘di pa naman nagtanda ‘yong mga ‘yon, ewan na lang.]

We assure you that their action was done without malice.

[Maliban na lang do'n sa isa. Nakadalawang sulat pala ang damuho! Ang kapal talaga ng mukha!]

Out of their sincere desire to help their people, they failed to consider the pitfalls to which these grants could possibly lead them.

[Kita n’yo na? Fault n’yo ‘to eh! Kayo ang dahilan kung bakit nagawa ng mga obispo 'yon!]

They have also expressed their readiness to do everything that is necessary to heal this wound so that we can all move forward in hope.

[Ibabalik na nga namin ang mga sasakyan eh. Ba’t ba ang kulit n’yo? Anong akala n’yo sa ‘min? Patay-gutom? Mas mayaman ang Simbahan kesa sa PCSO ‘no?]

We shall examine our values in the light of our vocation to be disciples of Jesus Christ.

[Masakit pero kakayanin.]

We plead with you to walk with us in this path of constant renewal.

[Akala ng Noynoy na ‘yan, siya lang ang may matuwid na daan!? Kami rin!]

We express again our deep sorrow for the pain that the recent events have brought to you our beloved people.

[Paulit-ulit na kaming nagso-sorry. Akala n’yo ba madaling gawin ‘to? Hindi!]

The good Lord knows our love for you.

[Kaya nga kami nag-request ng 4 x 4, para mabisita namin kayo ‘di ba? Hindi pa ba sapat na pruweba ‘yan ng aming pagmamahal?]

The words of the Psalmist come to our mind: “My sacrifice, a contrite spirit. A humbled, contrite heart you will not spurn.”

[Patawad na kasi, ano ba?!]

As the same Psalmist addresses the Lord, we take his words as our own to encourage and challenge us: “Indeed you love truth in the heart; then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom.”

[Natuto na kami. Promise, ‘di na mauulit.]

For the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines,

['Tapos na ang termino ko! Isang malaking good luck sa kapalit ko!]

+NEREO P. ODCHIMAR, D.D.

Bishop of Tandag

President, Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines

A reaction from Mon Tulfo,  an Inquirer columnist:

Some quarters are asking if it’s a big deal that bishops received sport utility vehicles (SUVs) from the Philippine Charity Sweepstakes (PCSO).

It is not only a big deal, it’s also scandalous.

The money that was used in buying the SUVs could have been spent on many ailing poor who needed medicines.

The bishops who were recipients of the largesse should have thought about the PCSO’s poor beneficiaries who were deprived of medicines because the money went to them.

Besides, why would those bishops, who are supposed to lead simple lives following the example of Jesus of Nazareth, want luxury vehicles when they can ride bicycles or motorcycles?

The answer is simple: They are pasikat or showoffs.

They want to feel important, as important as legislators who display the number 8 license plates on their vehicles.

Doesn’t the Catholic Church teach its followers that pride is one of the deadly sins?

Photo from http://www.flickr.com/photos/aningal/

Jocjoc and Rotary Club

Rotary cries foul on Joc-Joc

Rotary International, through its officers in the Philippines, regrets that it is the one organization that is constantly linked in the media with the name of Jocelyn "Joc-Joc" Bolante. Never has his residence, business or church affiliation, or other ties been used as an adjectival adjunct to his name. It is as if the man had no identity other than as a Rotarian and somehow "Rotary International" shares in the guilt of which he is accused.

While we acknowledge that Bolante distinguished himself as a Rotary officer (emphasis mine), it is unfair to consistently link his name to Rotary in an attempt to demean the international organization. If the media were truly aware of what Rotary is all about, they would surely realize that linking Rotary to Bolante is hardly fair to all concerned. As Bolante has not yet had his day in court and undergone due process, the imputations of guilt and scurrilous behavior on his person are most unfounded and uncalled for and do not serve the interest of justice and fair play.

Rotary International will continue to pursue its goals and programs in a transparent manner as it has done for the more than 100 years of its existence.

We feel that should former Agriculture Undersecretary Bolante get to present his side of the controversy, justice will then be better served. Until such time, it would be best if the name of Rotary is not mentioned with that of Bolante.

LYNE A. ABANILLA,
past district governor, D3810
and Zone 7 coordinator,
RI Public Image Resource Group



My UNSOLICITED ANSWER is taken from your Rotary International Website-

The Four-Way Test (One of those guiding principles mentioned in your website)

The test, which has been translated into more than 100 languages, asks the following questions:

1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

Mission (of Rotary International)

The mission of Rotary International, a worldwide association of Rotary clubs, is to provide service to others, to promote high ethical standards, and to advance world understanding, goodwill, and peace through its fellowship of business, professional, and community leaders.

The Tricks of Easy Money

When I entered the Weesam terminal last Monday, I saw my relatives already seating at a bench inside. Their faces were a picture of joy to see me. They must have missed me that much.

When I settled myself at their bench after the obligatory kissing of hands, and as if on cue, some of my relatives went to the CR and others went out to buy some food. Only my closest relative stayed with me and introduced me to a guy whom I will call Fatty for purposes of description. Fatty said he has roots in Batuan. The face looked familiar and guessed his family name in my mind. I was correct.

When Fatty shifted his focus on me, the last relative was also gone. His introduction was- Are you familiar with networking? I said yes of course. Who would not be familiar with the so many networking scams proliferating in the country and still victimizing people up to this time? But my short answer only stopped at Yes and nothing more.

He then lectured me on networking and emphasized that his type of networking was not the scam type. Fatty went on introducing his Agel products and the health benefits of it.

It will keep you alert and fit every time you drink it, he babbled.

Are you really using it, I asked. Of course, he retorted.

I was tempted to ask why was he not physically fit, looking at his bloated abs and his double chins, but did not.

Fatty told me that money would suddenly find their way to my bank account even if I just sit in front of my computer and grinned luridly. He lectured me about entrepreneurship, world markets, e-commerce, demands worldwide, blah blah, etc. etc. But his words were all passing through my deaf ears, actually. I was tempted to tell this guy my hate for babbly salesmen and my desire to stitch their mouths shut. But instead, I just nodded and said some occasional Uhuh, Mao, Bitaw, Yeah. All along, my mind played a scenario. How many people were convinced by this person?

I told Fatty that I am an internet savvy. I do market research and communicate through the internet. I even update myself on current trends on the Net. Much better, he said, and suddenly left me without even saying where he was going.

I suddenly found peace. Damn those relatives. They cleverly tricked me to listen to this guy so they could escape from him.

Fatty was back.

I will give you a form and you pay the 100 pesos processing fee. Hmm, yeah, when we get to Tagbilaran, I informed him.

I asked for the website address of his products that he claimed could only be ordered online. He told me he would SMS me the address.

You mean you did not know the URL of your product?

There’s a code, he revealed to me, but I have it in my laptop.

Interesting, indeed. I was convinced this would be another Da Vinci Code in the making.

And he started again to bombard me of the pleasures he got because of his networking stuff. Traveling around Visayas and the National Capital Region. Seeing places. Staying in comfort at luxury hotels. Meeting people.

Why do you travel when you have internet?

I have to get in touch with future clients, he declared.

There goes the just-sit-in-front-of-the-computer promise. I also told him I do stay in luxury hotels, see places, travel and meet people even if I am not into networking. I bragged, of course.

If you are keen on e-commerce, I presupposed you know PayPal. So I asked him if they would accept PayPal.

What is that, he asked. I told him that PayPal is a secure online account that stores your credit card and bank details, enabling you to pay online and by mobile quickly and safely. You don’t have to remember your details every time you shop, and you have the confidence that your sensitive financial information is never shared with the seller. PayPal is accepted by over 100,000 online retailers across Europe, including leading Boots, DHL, Harrods, Photobox, Pixmania and eBay. It’s the safer, easier way to pay (true) and that I can buy his stuff up to 5,000 pesos if they accept PayPal (very big lie, the 5,000 amount, I mean).

He was silent. Just give me your mobile number, he replied, so I can text you the details.

Ok.

I thought that ended the discussion because he was gone again. I have not seen Fatty even if we disembarked Tagbilaran two hours after.

It’s almost a week and I am still waiting for his text message.

*

Illustration from http://consumerist.com/

Phishing for Life

A columnist of the Cebu Daily News wrote an article on phishing today. Phishing is defined by Wikipedia as “an attempt to criminally and fraudulently acquire sensitive information, such as usernames, passwords and credit card details, by masquerading as a trustworthy entity in an electronic communication.” Mr Radel Paredes became one of the victims of identity thief and emails are proliferating now telling everyone in his address book that he is robbed in Canada and he badly needed US$2,500 and should be deposited in his account. He is currently in Cebu and never been to Canada.

Last year, my friend Judy was also a victim. I was shocked when I received an email telling me she was somewhere in Africa and in dire need of money because she was robbed there. Shocking because I just saw her a few hours back. Unless of course, if she became one of those Heroes or X-Men characters. Imagine if I never knew it was a hoax. But well, I don’t have a single cent, how much more a $2,500 so I would surely not giving her money. But what if?

I also remember way back then, about two years ago, someone claiming to be a friend of mine was asking for my nude pictures. My ego bloating, I gave the person my trust. Only to find out much later that my nude pictures were distributed via email to the whole Bohol Provincial Capitol employees with a shocking headliner: CAPITOL EMPLOYEE IN A THREESOME SCANDAL or some sort. Imagine my nude picture, taken in my room with no one in site except me and my body, being circulated as having been caught with threesome partners! Well, with a small brain the Capitol employees (and even heads of offices) had, they believe the story. But publicity, no matter how bad it is, is still publicity. So sikat ako.

Anyway that was not phishing hahahaha.

What I mean is- we don’t have to believe what these people are telling us to do even if the information came from a “reliable” source. Nowadays, great minds can create miracles right before your eyes.

So don’t forward those emails telling you to fillup something and win a prize, or those emails telling you this site is closing down unless you forward them to thousands of friends. It is spamming and a scam.

As what Mr. Paredes wrote in his column: The internet is a great tool for strengthening human relationships. But phishing and other scams also easily reverses this. While it facilitates sharing among people, it also gives ample room for the greedy and the opportunistic.

So be aware.

*
More info on how phishing works can be read at http://money.howstuffworks.com/phishing.htm