Can't sleep. Could not sleep.

I slept earlier actually. 8 pm. Unusual.

But I felt cold the whole day. Very unusual again. Must be the weather. Must be the stress I encountered yesterday when my bag with checks and important documents and keys to the house was carried by an unknown passenger leaving me with her bag of unwashed undies. Or just because I sent off a very close relative and her family to the airport today because they are leaving for US. Whatever.

But today was unusually cold.

Maybe because I still have the rashes from my til-as (tell me the English term please) encounter in Batuan. Didn't knew why those greeny oval-shaped things with lots of toxic pricks in their bodies and found in plant leaves suddenly was in my right arm and it hurts like hell. Til-as. Why not tell me. Or you. Why tell us? I'm babbling.

I felt cold. In fact I am shivering to the bones. My body is not even hot. No cough. No colds. I think I have no fever. But I'm cold.

I woke up at 12.30 this morning because somebody miscalled me. Damn! I ignored it. Went to the john only to find a cockroach waiting for me. FYI roaches can kill me, I believe. I abhor them. Those creepy dirty whiskery flying idiots who could survive a nuclear holocaust. Am I just envious? Once I have a bug spray in my bag and friends made fun of me because of it. Roaches tensed me to the maximum level. I sprayed him ( hope he is a he because he would be dead) and it was a bad decision. He/It flew and ran all over my place. 

The more I'm stressed out!

Glad he was dead later. But still I could not sleep. And I am cold! Brrrrrr.

I covered my body with my good old habol (blankets).

The sound of termites eating my door reverberated my room. The clock's ticking joined in like there is a countdown ongoing.

I could not sleep.

I'm cold.

And so this blog.

Roads to Relaxation

We all have a choice. We can live life in the "fast lane", pushing ourselves hard from one experience to the next, until one day we can push ourselves no more; or we can turn off the superhighway to follow quieter, slower roads that encourage our driving skills, rather than our driving speed. Ultimately, we may reach the same destination. However, the different routes by which we travel there will determine the state of our mind and body on arrival.

Perhaps we have forgotten how to make such choices. Certainly, for many of us, the fastest route seems the obvious one. Yet we sacrifice so much in taking it. We miss the fascinating views of landmarks and scenery, as well as the sheer charm of following a quieter road. The routes to relaxation are winding, with so many turnings. We may even lose our way from time to time, but that all adds to the fascination, the sense of adventure and surprise.

Leaving the superhighway can prove difficult. Even if we resolve to try one of the roads branching off to left or right, unless we dispel the deep-rooted thinking that made us want to take the fast lane in the first place, we shall soon find ourselves back there.

Relaxation cannot he hurried. We must have faith that our slow, circuitous journey will take us in the end to the land of calm perspectives --- the place we all dream of in our hearts.

from the book Learn To Relax: A Practical Guide to Easing Tension & Conquering Stress by Mike George

Paintings: Relaxation in Autumn; Relaxation in Jade; Relaxation in Green #2 all from http://www.richardstodart.com/