Of face powder and the pa-men

Nowadays, men are as vain as women. The metrosexual revolution has finally invaded in far flung towns across the Philippines even if the rest of the world has already set a newer trend and no longer happy with metrosexuality. You see men powdering themselves in CRs, you see men with faces as white or as shiny as women’s, men who make sure the distinction between the genders no longer exists. And they say they are straight.

One time, I was in the restroom of SM City Cebu when I saw this young man powdering himself. I ask him why he was doing that. He told me so that his face would not shine like he just came from eating pork lard. But men should not be like that, I retorted. Your older generation did not do this of course, was his quick reply.

I chuckled in embarrassment.

The only time I put powder on my face was when I lost in a game of cards called unggoyay.

Yes, it is a fact that we should take care of ourselves, the face being the forefront of our individuality is the first to get noticed. Yes, I also use facial wash and facial moisturizer but other than that, I could not confront the world with my face getting white while my whole body is brown. You can see what I mean when you are in a jeepney or inside the malls.

Really I could understand if the third sex is overdoing vanity to compete with women. But real men? C’mon.

No wonder someone is questioning your sexuality.

Anyways, I received this text message and was laughing while reading it. To the pa-men out there here are some good tips so it won’t get that obvious-

TOP TEN TIPS KUNG PAANO MAGPA-MEN:

1. Magpa-borta ng katawan. Para hard.
2. Huwag masyadong high-fashion ang damit. T-shirt, jeans o chinos at sneakers lang, ayos na. Bawal din yung mga fashionistang bag. Dapat gym bag o backpack lang.
3. Huwag makapal magpulbo. Sa t-zone (forehead, nose, chin) at leeg lang dapat.
4. Huwag mag-foundation, concealer, lip gloss, lipstick, eyeliner at blush-on.
5. Iwasan ang pagkanta ng mga songs nila Regine Velasquez, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, PCD, etc. Mag-shift sa rock, alternative, at boyband songs.
6. Relax lang dapat ang lakad. Okay rin kapag medyo siga. Huwag mag-catwalk.
7. Kapag may tumatawag sayo ng Sis, Girl, Bex, Beki, Bading, Bakla, Mader, Mudra, etc. huwag kang lilingon.
8. Bawal mag-pout.
9. Bawal ang bumeso-beso.
10. Bawal tumili.