Happy birthday Mama Mely

My mother taught me...

TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

RELIGION.

"You better pray that it will come out of the carpet."

TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in accident."

IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

TO BECOME A CONTORTIONIST.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that veggies on your plate is gone."

WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado wenth throught it."

HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate."

CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home."

MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stuck that way."

ESP.

"Put your jacket on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts your toes, don't come running to me."

HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you will never grow up."

GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

Every life a melodrama

Weddings, I believe, makes a family.

From the day a family member announces his or her intentions to marry, the family is kept in constant motion and commotion. And the drama begins.

Oh, why so early?

We don’t have enough money for the wedding!

My, my, are you pregnant?

Why of all people that girl?

You are marrying a family of drunks, for God’s sake!

The couple’s arduous plans combined with the lethal family sentiments make marriages colorful sights to behold.

Also, getting married nowadays is like suicide. In a small town like ours, getting married is also feeding the whole town, whether you sent your invitations or not. Sometimes, it would be wise to get married before a judge and invite only some close relatives and friends. That was how my sister and my cousin did. I think they only lose a few thousands with their weddings.

Since church weddings are considered a tradition, the Filipinos, being traditional, expect a big celebration.

In the end, whether we like it or not, a couple in love will have their way, be it a necessity to marry or otherwise.

My first cousin got married a few days ago and it was time for us to form a circle of support despite the odds. The odds being the manner to make it happen. Of course it takes a lot of money to do such. I assume the couple has to borrow money and ask some relatives to contribute knowing their savings is not enough. Never enough.

Aside from the financial burden, marrying produces a lot of emotions that sometimes are traumatic. I am sure if given the choice, couples would back out before the real thing. Parents, siblings, relatives and friends would create unnecessary problems in the course of the planning.

There is the sister who got angry why her children were not part of the entourage. There is this relative who got insulted he was not given an invitation. The mother got angry and emotional out of nonsense. My cousin even has to negotiate with a crying cousin because someone from the girl’s side asked her to leave the table during the banquet. That is only on our side. Imagine the girl’s.

In weddings, there is always an aggrieved party despite how well-planned they are.

In all these dramas, the couple has to deal with the situation without any support from anyone because everyone is lost in our own passions.

I am sure no one wanted to be part of a couple’s problem. We only wanted our friendship and sense of proprietorship with them to last. A kind of selfish attitude we wanted to hold knowing soon the husband or wife now owns each other and soon we will be spectators in the side. Like abandoned parents.

So we create disturbances, drama, to be noticed.

But because blood is thicker than water, we overcome all these obstacles and celebrate the marriage in banquets, drinking the whole night through, all the problems left behind. Comforting hugs, glasses of wines, sane minds all have quieted the turbulence, leaving everyone exhausted and with a bad hangover a day after.

The drama will repeat in baptisms or when another wedding will come about in the course of a lifetime.

It is a cycle.

Cartoon grabbed from darrenbyrne.com

Shy

My nephew, Eulo, is camera shy.

Another Confession (Or thoughts that came in as I read Paul Theroux's The Lesson Of My Life article)

I am hard-headed. Hard-head because I do not confer my life with other people's and live my life according to theirs. 

Many times friends and relatives, mostly friends, ask me what will my future be. I never really planned my life as it should be and I never have a thought that when I grow old I should have the money to cling on to. 

While others save for their future, I go and explore the world and splurge my earnings for my family. I don't give them money, my family. Although The Mom would sometimes ask for something for our farmland and The Pa would ask for improvement of his bike and occasionally I secretly put an amount in my aunts' hands. It is all for family. 

I love them. Love can also be a dinner in an expensive restaurant which we rarely go. Or an expensive gift for an occasion. Or a bunch of goodies for each of our growing family.

When all settles down and everyone is satisfied, I don't have money to spare for a trip back to my place or for the rent and utilities, but I have given my family something to remember. As opposed to The Sis who is known to have become a millionaire and yet no member of the family would dare and ask something from her.

Friends say I am a drifter. I say I am. But my family looks at me as their idol. Who can beat that?

I go whenever and wherever the wind blows. I live life as it is.

I have cracks in my head but my family loves me.

(Photo taken by Ary and Photoshop-ped by Edik) 

A world of my own

Unnecessary heartaches left me stranded in my own little world and kept me longing for my family. They have been asking for my presence in important events but I declined. I retreated to a world I could only understand. Alone. Helpless. Emotional. I created them and the barrier.

Yes, I admit I was living in a world full of fantasy. I imagined perfect things. Perfect relationships.  Perfect settings. Everything. That was why I've fallen hard. And it hurts. 

Then I woke up this morning with a slap in my face. A slap coming from within, not outside. A sudden click in the mind telling me to wake up and get real. Something that awakened me after a numbing experience, a groggy sleep you don't want to. A snap! 

And there, the birds were alive and the sun brightened my place. Even the stray cats were trying to get in. Such a lovely day and I did not see its beauty. They have been around me for so long and I took them for granted, and instead, dwell on perfect dreams which were not really there. The things I took for granted should have been given me inspiration had I not enclosed myself with that mesh of uncertainty.

Family. They were there. All the time. 

Time to clean up my mess.

A note on Forgiveness:

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder

Family affairs

I am still drunk and could not think of other things except smoke and caffeine overload when I received an SMS from my sis telling me she just had a baby boy! And with an additional text that I have his eyes. Isn't that cool? Welcome to the family baby Liam Lorenzo Barol! I gave him his name by the way.

Meanwhile my elder sister sent me a text message asking me if she could borrow some money.

We are rich

The holiday season brought us a very talkative 6-year old kid from Cavite. Innocence and amusement filled our household everyday during the holiday season.

One time she blurted out- Mayaman pala kayo Lolo, Lola! (You were rich Lolo, Lola!)

We laughed and we asked why.

Mayaman po kayo kasi may hagdan kayo. (You are rich because you have stairs.)

I never knew that a simple staircase could give meaning to a child. And she saw it as a status symbol. Now this staircase of ours is not the flamboyant type you can see in some rich man’s mansion. Our staircase is a compilation of wood slabs 6 inches wide and 24 inches long. I was suddenly conscious about it that I measured it up and counted them. They were the ugliest staircase I could find in the whole wide world.

I asked the child why the stairs made us rich. Her simple answer was- Wala po kaming ganyan. (We don’t have one at home.)

We were not rich just because we have a staircase. Yet those stairs were rich in memories of love and pain, of joy and sorrows. Looking at it, you could see it has survived time. Been polished many times to hide its deformities. Some parts have succumbed to termites and other calamities.

Many children loved playing on this staircase. Us. Our children. Our neighbors. Our nephews and nieces. Many a child got his foot sprained because of the undersized slabs. It was here that a loving and motherly love was shown to ease the sprained foot or a bruised head.

It was here when a sister sat and announced to the family that she was getting married. It was also here that she sat crying over her lost husband who died due to illness.

It was on the railings of the staircase that artworks were displayed by proud parents. It was also on those railings that a sister displayed her autographed picture of the first woman pilot of Cebu Pacific bearing a greeting for her because she worked at that same company. 

The alcoholic brother sat at those stairs not minding that the whole family was looking at him heaving a sigh full of pain and regret.

Yes, the child is right! We are rich!

My Christmas Wish

I am not quite sure if that was a Christmas ago or two, I was wishing for in one of my blogs here, a pajama of my own. About two or three responded that they will give them (pajamas) if I would come over to their respective places and get them. One was from Manila, the other in the US and one from Australia. I could only sigh.

Now it's Christmas season once more and I am thinking of a wish list again. I asked myself what should it be? A pajama again? A gadget? With my current financial status surely materialism would be the first choice. But then again this is a selfish choice. And besides, wishing for things should not be the main concern of a 40 year old like me. Grow up!

So I changed gear, wishing for a peaceful world not just this Christmas but throught my lifetime. I was imagining of a wonderful world to live in. Yeah, I know. I would sound corny. I know those who knew me would laugh at my beauty pageant answer. Thank you candidate number 1. Although deep inside, I have wished for peace of mind, enough food for my family and world peace. Wake up!

Back to square one. My head starts clamming up and getting cramped. Beat it up!

I never knew thinking of a "more mature" Christmas wishlist could be this hard. Even bringing in an unnecessary headache! Why do I have to bother making a list? I just have to be myself, live a noble life and feed my family and contribute to efforts that would make life a lot easier.

That's it.

Hope everyone is having a great Christmas with family and friends. 

That's my number 1 wish.

===================================================

Entering new heights with digital cameras, laptops and LCD TVs

When I was young, it horrifies me to see our local photographer come to our house and bring those bulky gadgets and Mother would let us pose infront of that hooded guy. It was like seeing a ghost after the eye-popping flash. And the proof of that experience have to take weeks or months to be seen.

When I had the experience to use a digital camera, gone are the days when I have to crank up and make unrecognizable photographs of things, people and important moments I love.

With these digital camera technology, all else is history. Now, even children can capture the moment.

And with the improved technologies from everything digital including photography to LCD TV and laptop comes an improved and heightened viewing pleasure.

Family affair

With a laptop and LCD TV ready, what I usually do is prepare some drinks and snacks, invite family members and friends and huddle in the comforts of our living room and show them those unforgettable moments taken by the digital camera. Here's Mama cooking a secret recipe unmindful of the camera. There's Tatay squatting beside the TV. There's my nephew crying from a brief war of the worlds. Everyone is there doing something funny.

Aside from creating camaraderie among friends and family, this gathering brings fondness and closer ties.

The gadgets

From a digital camera, I download my pictures to a laptop and create a multimedia shown in the laptop screen. It creates a stir and various levels of poking and joking. It's good to see my friends and family react to the shots. It sure is great fun and a good conversation piece that would last a lifetime.

With a bigger group, a bigger picture is also needed. That's when an LCD TV comes to a rescue. With the LCD TV, everything comes in full view. From my experience, having it on LCD TV would give viewers enough space and a good picture quality. I believe everyone has surely seen new things they would not forget. With LCD TV, the captured moments will be seen accurately and with digital perfection.

So get your digital camera now and experiment with your family, download them to your laptop or directly show them to your LCD TV and let the fun begin.

More information on the gadgets mentioned above and some interesting equipments can be seen if you click on this link.

Meeting old lovers and flings

I was invited by an old lover to a fiesta at their house. I could not say no. I have to face her family and her new love.

I wonder why we still are friends now. We are even open to each other. I mean- we tell our families and new-found lovers that we had a past. We kiss in public. Not the erotic kiss, of course (what are you thinking?). We show our closeness. Sometimes, we show our intimate signs and endearments like the way we do when we were still on, without knowing it. Her lover teased me. What? I asked. Uyyyyy.

I find it really cute.

But like all other relationships, past is past. But friendships? Oh, they remain strong as ever.

We are happy with our current status.

Family First

I saw my boxing instructor at SM yesterday. He was all smiles and obviously have grown healthy. I mean his stomach was obviously not taken cared of.

He asked me if I still go to the gym for my boxing lessons. Yeah I boxed for two months. Someone gave me a two-month free session. But that was it. I could no longer afford a P2,500 monthly visit despite of the fact that it was healthy for me. To be honest about it, the P2,500 could feed my family.

I told him I haven't been there for so long. I was only there last year.

"I resigned," my instructor declared. He wanted to focus on something more necessary- supporting the family. And I thought I was alone.

We said our goodbyes. I remembered he still owed me P500.

Tay, ikaw pala yan?

Pizza clerk surprised to find robber is her dad

DENTON, Texas - Police said they will not file charges against a clerk whose parents and husband were charged with robbing the pizza restaurant where she worked, officials said. Police said the clerk didn't know they planned to rob the Pizza Patron Friday night.

While the robbery was in progress, the clerk discovered her father was the robber when another clerk struck him, knocking him out and knocking off his wig and sunglasses. He was later apprehended after witnesses followed the getaway pickup.

"Her husband told us she didn't know. He knew they were going to rob someplace but he thought it was going to be a convenience store," police Sgt. James Brett said in a story in Monday's online editions of the Denton Record-Chronicle.

A surveillance video corroborated the clerk's story. A police report shows the trio was in custody within 14 minutes of the robbery.

All three suspects were charged with aggravated robbery.

Priorities, Priorities

I have been working for about three weeks straight now, spent sleepless nights on projects and waking up early to meet clients. I have traveled to the different parts of the country without full rest. Always on the run.

Now I decided to take a rest and splurge myself just this once. I ordered a wicked meal at KFC, bought an extra-large drink from Thirsty and went to see Mamma Mia twice. I was literally full, which actually was rare.

My conscience was burdened. I hated myself. Why do I have to undergo a guilt trip?

Because it's all about priorities. As we mature, we see things are not just for ourselves. We became selfless beings for our families and friends. The Thirsty drink could have been a notebook for our youngest in school. The movie could have bought meals for the family. I wish I had the mind of the younger ones and the ones who refused to grow. They could eat a cow and not minding if others have eaten at all. Or live in a house without bothering they have to pay the bills. Wow.

But conscience or no conscience, I have done it all today. I am justified, so to speak. I earnestly working hard for the money and I think I needed rest and relaxation.

The First Family

The strange bunch: (L to R) Standing- Jon Ryan, Cecile, Gladys, Jonathan, Ako. Seated- Tatay Atilano, Mama Emeliana. Lost in some pursuits and not in the picture- Raquel, Ethel

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. ~Erma Bombeck

Family First Policy

Are you aware that if we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days?

But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?


from a chain email
photo courtesy of http://www.family2000.ca/

My New Year Wish

I wish I could spend my New Year with my family. Sadly, I don't have enough funds to travel and be with them. Instead, I am stuck in this hot and dark room with only a computer to talk to.

Last Christmas I went and stayed home and enjoyed their company despite the very limited time (and funds). There is no substitute for family. Really.

But I am glad friends come from time to time to comfort me. They are angels in disguise.


Photo courtesy of Busta’s Blog


.

Coming Home

I don't usually come home on holidays. Holidays in my hometown meant cold nights, masses and drunk relatives. Having my Christmas in Batuan would mean toxic but not meaningful holiday.

But lately, the younger generations of the family thought of innovative ways to enjoy the season. They made it a time for family reunions. Instead of sulking in the room after the mass at Christmas, we now have a reason to celebrate more. Gifts are exchanged. Food shared with all family members.

I used to eat the cold spaghetti alone but not anymore. I used to pour the red wine myself and drink it all by myself. But not anymore.

One good reason: A family that drinks together, stays together.

Home by Daughtry

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.