Unnecessary heartaches left me stranded in my own little world and kept me longing for my family. They have been asking for my presence in important events but I declined. I retreated to a world I could only understand. Alone. Helpless. Emotional. I created them and the barrier.
Yes, I admit I was living in a world full of fantasy. I imagined perfect things. Perfect relationships. Perfect settings. Everything. That was why I've fallen hard. And it hurts.
Then I woke up this morning with a slap in my face. A slap coming from within, not outside. A sudden click in the mind telling me to wake up and get real. Something that awakened me after a numbing experience, a groggy sleep you don't want to. A snap!
And there, the birds were alive and the sun brightened my place. Even the stray cats were trying to get in. Such a lovely day and I did not see its beauty. They have been around me for so long and I took them for granted, and instead, dwell on perfect dreams which were not really there. The things I took for granted should have been given me inspiration had I not enclosed myself with that mesh of uncertainty.
Family. They were there. All the time.
Time to clean up my mess.
A note on Forgiveness:
"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free." - Catherine Ponder