Search and You Shall Find in My World

26 May 2009

After reading Revenge and Forgiveness when it suddenly rains

The rain falls angry on my door like a hundred horses wanting to come in. I was reading Revenge and Forgiveness but I could not forgive the rain for coming.

I feel suddenly alone and empty. The rain added the drama. A perfect setting.

My thoughts wander. What if I go out? What if I get myself wet?

But then again the rain , this rain, would have me in her arms like a mother would. Hugging. Filling this emptiness. Dousing this longing.

Get up!

And so I drag myself out.

Oh this rain. This life. It feels cold yet it satisfies my want. It drenches me but it also cleanses my tired soul. Ah rain. I miss my childhood when I can dance naked under your caress. No inhibitions. No people to please. No nothing. I miss the pageant unfolding. The no nonsense drama. The real me. I miss my innocence. I miss my life. I miss you.

And these are the thoughts of a forty year old. In the rain.

When my Indon friend would have been here he would have asked- Sedang apa? (What are you doing?) I would have replied- Kabarku baik-baik saja. (I am doing good.)

1 comment:

Jay said...

rain rain don't go away. it is so hot outside.