Search and You Shall Find in My World

07 April 2009

To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

I've been crazy these past days and harboring ill thoughts against a lover and mankind in general and myself included, despite my being an alien. Unfortunately an email from a friend I read today made me laugh madly. Maybe I should try one of these:
  • At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  • Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
  • Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 
  • Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  • In the memo field of all your checks, write Marijuana.
  • Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
  • Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 
  • Specify that your drive-through order is To Go. 
  • Sing along at the opera.
  • Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache. 
  • When the money comes out from the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
  • When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!
  • Tell your children 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.
And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity 
  • Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.

Yet another fool digital mixed media by

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