To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

I've been crazy these past days and harboring ill thoughts against a lover and mankind in general and myself included, despite my being an alien. Unfortunately an email from a friend I read today made me laugh madly. Maybe I should try one of these:

• At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  
• Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
  
• Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 
  
• Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  
• In the memo field of all your checks, write Marijuana.
  
• Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.
  
• Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 
  
• Specify that your drive-through order is To Go. 
  
• Sing along at the opera.
  
• Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache. 
  
• When the money comes out from the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
  
• When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives! They're loose!' 
  
• Tell your children 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.' 
  

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity 

• Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is.
  

Yet another fool digital mixed media by iandale.net