Search and You Shall Find in My World

09 January 2008

To All Mamas Out There

I attended a funeral service tonight because a distant relative died in her sleep, a natural death I supposed. The children of course were hysterical. Morale was low. Moral support came in.

One of the children asked me to talk to their father so he would not feel alone. My heart broke when I saw the man who could not control the tears running down from his eyes because I asked him to spend most of his time in Cebu. He replied to me with a question most old men would ask when we think uprooting them from the place they are so used to would solve loneliness and desperation: what should I be doing in Cebu aside from TV and malling?

He told me he would rather be in Zumarraga (an island municipality in Samar) and die there despite the laid back situation because he can talk to people he knew so well and do things he wanted to do. He told me "mamingaw man intoy nga waray na hi Tiya Puring nimo pero makuri pa gihap pag-inadjust didi ha syudad" (It is lonely there without your Tiya Puring but it is hard for me to adjust in the city). Indeed! My heart died a little bit more.

When the mass started, I could not control myself. I cried.

Because I too, like a nomad in the city, do not even know where should I be placed in the clutter. The city life is indifferent. There are no neighbors to talk nonsense to. There are no parents to run to when things around are difficult to fathom. I am a surviving soul in the city, scarred, struggling, lonely and empty. I could not even say this is MY city.

When Tiya Puring died, most talk centered on children who could not even visit when she was still alive. And now that she is dead, these same children are now showering her gifts she could no longer appreciate.

Because Filipinos are actually expected to take care of their parents, and not put them in some home for the aged bidding their time. Family first. You got friends, you got lovers but never neglect parents. Family first.

Many times I would just ignore my mother because I believe they are doing well in my hometown. With no more children to feed, I am sure they are well-rested. But lately, Mother resorted to some unfounded complaints, mostly domestic. I found this irritating and a funny excuse to be noticed.

That is why I broke down.

With a renewed resolution to take care of my parents, I vowed to visit them more often because as what Tiyo Jose would insist, there is no place like home.

To my Mama and to all mothers in the world: Thank you so much for bringing us into the world. This song is for you.

Mama by Il Divo

Mama, thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
For the times I forgot

Mama remember all my life
You showed me love, you sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed along the way [along the way]

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, yeah I miss you

Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrong, Dry your eyes [dry your eyes]

Cause I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you, I miss you

Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed along the way [along the way]

Cause I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, Mama...

Photo from
Lyrics copied from


1 comment:

Chie said...

Touched ko...