Search and You Shall Find in My World

05 March 2009

Forgiving people

I slept late last night. So many thoughts still bothered me. I woke up very early this morning but soon drifted again to sleep. I could feel someone was touching me. He put me to sleep with his touch. It could be just an imagination but he touched me to calm me down. 

I woke up once again feeling refreshed. Had coffee and bagels. Do a little pushups. Hit the shower. The heat of the water finally woke me up. I stood under the shower for awhile without movement. Just feeling the water and being battered by its force. 

I felt good. And when I was done I made these resolutions-
  • Clean my face from beard and stubbles. I looked like an old goat, my friends told me.
  • Have a cool haircut this afternoon? I've been wishing for that new look but previous commitments prevented me from doing it.
  • Finish my backlogged projects. It is time.
  • Open my doors again and see the outside world.
  • Go out with happy friends and laugh with them.
  • Tears have dried. Move on.
  • Forgive people who made me cry. I know they have reasons too for hurting me. And forgive myself for being unkind to myself. The only person who will be with me all through this lifetime is myself and I am being unkind.
  • Surround myself with love and with people I love.

Despite the pain I've undergone, life is still beautiful.

And this song from Dishwalla-

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall 
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us 
are we ever 
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down 
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time 
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see 

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us 
are we ever 
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around 
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one 
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold.

1 comment:

kg said...

oohhh...i love that song by dishwalla! :)