The Perks of Old Age

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
   
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
   
3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
   
4. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
   
5. Things you buy now won't wear out.
   
6. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
   
7. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
   
8. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
   
9. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
   

Copied from Sun*Star Weekend, October 17, 2009 Issue; Pic from zazzle.com